41 & Looking to Life Outside

I can't imagine the feeling of walking out the front door of this prison a restored citizen. I hear stories about the tears of joy and can only envision myself collapsing to my knees praising our Creator for restoring my physical freedom. Through the years my vision of what life will look like has changed. I've been the wealthy successful entrepreneur, the humble farmer with 10 acres in Oregon State, and man who would be satisfied with a little apartment and simple 9-5. Most recently I have my sights set on opening a facility with programming that focuses on reintegration and continued recovery for those coming from an incarceration period. This will be used in coordination with TC communities (like OASIS) within ODRC to partner with them to achieve better programs for those inmates while incarcerated. 

Being out of these prison walls I will finally know how to be at peace and grateful for the things I have and to cherish every moment with my family, friends and the most amazing and special woman I've ever met in my life, Tish. See today I'm the most solid version of myself that I've ever been. On every aspect of life: spiritually, physically, and emotionally. Through my incarceration, especially in the OASIS program, I'm making the necessary tweaks internally and preparations externally.  The facility I will be starting will be a partnership with Tish and we will be intertwining both of our life experiences, education and passions for helping others. I know opportunities will present themselves and I'm leaving this prison operating in the spirit of servitude. Where ever I am, I'm going to give all my energy towards making things around me better. 

I also love educating and working with the youth, especially those who might be headed down the wrong path in life. My passion for tutoring and understanding the trauma these young boys and girls are going through will allow me to have a huge positive impact. I have learned how things impacted me and drove me into making poor choices despite having so many around me who tried their best to keep me on the straight and narrow. 

I am thankful to have a huge support system and family who has been walking each and every step of the way with me. I look forward to being present in their lives and not just being present but contributing in any way they need me. Tish amongst other family and friends provide me with this solid foundation that I can depend on for advice and support. I know well that not all those in my position have the same luxury and I have never taken that for granted but I now have a greater appreciation for all they tried to do for me before I made my decisions that led me here. I do all I can to improve the mindset of the men around me in the program and to show them how to better themselves and make positive changes. It is very difficult to fight everyday and stay focused on the mission in here when things around you can be so dark and negative. There can be those who aren't here with the same goal of rehabilitation and utilize prison as a playground. They can pull guys back into the behaviors that led us all here in the first place if we all don't put the hard work in. I have been determined to not go back there and for more than half of my sentence I have consistently shown that and given guys tools to do the same. Hope and faith in our Creator is what allows me to take all these difficult things and turn them into opportunities. After 20 years of living in this hell i can finally taste, smell, hear, and feel this freedom that is so so so close. God Speed!!!